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homesick alien

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29th May 2004

10:14pm: alright. i will not be online for one month.
we are moving and i doubt we will get the internet.
my last day of work is june 27th.
hopefully we will be in michigan by july2nd.
i will probably be able to check my mail at kinkos a couple of times.
hmmmm...i just realized that we wont have a phone either.
all of the people that we are moving in with have cell phones.
ill try to figure this out by the 1st.
thats our last day here.
our new address:
3837 n.49th place
phx, az 85018

i have so much shit to do.

i will be on monday, so amber...i better hear about or see your tattoo!!

11th May 2004

9:55pm: ok, so my last entry was weird because right in the middle of it, steve came home and i got into an intricate discussion with him and i just couldnt finish it. but my updating is so few and far between i didnt want to delete it. . . . i dont know why i felt the need to explain myself...i just did though.
work is stuid as usual.
i have a review tomorrow and im super nervous.
i keep telling myself that i will say something if they dont give me a raise...
but im starting to think i wont.
i mean, its just a couple more months,
would not getting a raise be so bad?
but i know if we were staying i definitly would.
so that means if i hadnt given a 3 month notice
i would definatly get a raise.
i really hope i dont have to worry about this tomorrow.
it would put me in such an uncomfortable position.
i wish people could understand me at work.
i dont like confrontation.
just give me what i deserve.

i have tomorrow off. that makes me really happy.
i think that i will go hiking.
the hardest part about it is motivating myself to get out there.
the first 5 times i go are the worst because i know i can do better,
im just not in shape right now to do my best.
tomorrow will only be 90 degrees so i guess i should take advantage of it.

i cut my hair again...it just keeps getting shorter.
its white blond again too.

i think that these next two months will go by slow.
it just feels like its never coming.
im very ready to go now.
bye bye

9th May 2004

5:56pm: so its mothers day...i should probably call my mommy.
i miss her.
her card is sitting on my couch, waiting to be mailed.
was anyone aware that things dont send themselves?
i wish she had email.
ever since we got the internet ive been so neglectant on writing letters.
writing letters was my favorite thing to do, especially when i met steve.
but now it just takes too long...so...sorry.

talked to megan for like an hour today.
i thought about her a lot this week and she called today.
i was just thinking how we see eachother and talk to
eachother like 3 times a year, but every time it feels
like its only been a few months.
we pick up right where we left off.
8:04am: that was quite a cheap shot...good luck with that karma thing.

28th April 2004

10:10pm: frank has been crying to me since i walked in the door.
his food was full and his water was fresh...i couldnt figure out what it was

until i picked him up.
i draped him over my shoulder and now hes purring.
when i tilt my head down he likes to lay across my shoulders
with his paws and claws holding on.

when i turn my nose to him he smells mine and closes his eyes.
we are in heaven.
10:42am: crunch
life is good.
i just put in our month notice for our
leaving at the end of our lease.

our dear friends Billy, Anya and Narah will be
getting a house in june and have offered a place to
stay for our last month here.
i think it will be a lot of fun
i just hope franko can hang with it.
he hates people...except narah...he has a crush on her.
he loves her so much, he just stares at her whenever she comes over.
i hope he will get along with anyas puppy.
its a chuj;slkdjfsdkhua.
you know, the taco bell dog...i dont know how to spell it.
he is wonderful...Benicio!!!

its getting super warm here. around the 100's.
its not too fun when you work outside...poor steve.
only 2 more months though.
and then...
green grass
grey skies.
we got a bunch of new music a couple days ago.
the new sigur ros, glue (a hip hop group) and a weezer thing.
the weezer thing has the blue album and another cd with their b-sides...all of my
favorite weezer songs. it was great to hear them again.
it has a few songs that i had never heard too...some old ones.
they were good. i like the old weezer.

monday night was my friend katies birthday.
we got her the new modest mouse on vinyl.
it was so much fun.
steve and i split a bottle of my favorite wine,
which, i think i will buy a case and bring it back to
michigan. its only 6.99/bottle and its so easy to drink.

i cut steves hair pretty short last night.
hes so sexy...im a lucky woman.
i really wish i could post pictures.

so we finally found Tings!!!!!!
vegan crunchy cheese puffs...how did we ever live without them??
we each ate our own bag last night.

ok, i will make food now

22nd April 2004

1:05pm: jsut waiting for steve to get home.
its so funny, he quit his job doing the parking lot and one of the other guys
calls him last night to say he cant work on thurs...today.
so now he has to quit again.
if they are really in a bind, im sure he will work though.

our cabin was awesome.
it was 3 days and it felt like a week.
holy shit, i cant even believe how nice it was.
horses, pugs, barn dogs, elk, rabbits.
in the middle of NOWHERE!!!
it was absolutly silent. when the fire went out the cabin was black.
i slept so well.
last night in our bed sucked.
now i know why i cant sleep...its the bed.
we went on a hike for about 2 hours and saw no one on the trail.
we found peanut chews at albertsons and bought a case.
we made fake hotdogs and hamburgers on the grill with pickles, onions, ketchup and mustard.
we had corn on the cob and baked beans.
we had tofu scramble in the morning.
it was a dream vacation.
we are sunburned.
narah was able to come up for both nights and it was a blast.
i love her company.
i will miss her when we move. she will be one of the few things we will miss from here.
im hungry now, so i will eat.

18th April 2004

10:33am: today is going well.
*i got to sleep in.
*i got free coffee and some toast with guacamole and cucumbers.
*im doing one load of laundry...jeans, which are easy to fold and is so rewarding-its like going shopping but not spending money.
*i took a relaxing shower
*im going for a walk in this perfect weather. its 60 but it feels like its 80 because the sun is so intense.
*i have to work at 2 but on sundays we close and hour early so its only 7 hours. and even if its a bad night i have the next 3 days off so i really dont care.
*i saw on the schedule that narah got tuesday off, so we will be enjoying her company at our cabin.
*our friend asked us again if we wanted to stay with her in june, so i feel better about that.
*i smell damn good...due to the relaxing shower mentioned previously

mannnnnnnnn-oooooooooo-mannnnnnn i feel great!

17th April 2004

5:51pm: WOW!!!
i just looked at the weekly forcast for lansing...
you guys are lucky.
78 and thunderstorms...its my favorite time of the year there.

enjoy it
5:38pm: so i am getting really excited about our vacation.
we just have one more day of work.
and a few friends might be meeting us up there.

today was sunny and really windy.
it was a perfect day.
steve and i each got a footlong sub from subway. it was the best ever.
i asked for extra pickles, as many as possible and he put
so much on i had to take some off.
and he put a ton of salt and pepper on it too.
mmmmmmmmmmm. diagnosis: delicious
steve watched the hockey game and i worked in our little garden.
it needed a lot of work but i could only do so much in the heat.
i had to wear shoes because the cement was too hot.
franko cant go outside when the sun is out because its too
hot for him to be running around in a black fur coat.
he will come out for about a minute and just hide in our shadow.

i like my hair this short. i just need to bleach it.

it seems like every time i do laundry only one washing machine is open.
it really sucks.
i finally get motivated and then boom...its gone.

maybe next time/week.
Current Mood: relaxed
12:35pm: "Why do slim chance and fat chance mean the same?"

16th April 2004

6:15pm: no title
check out where steve and i are staying mon-wed next week:http://www.juniperwellranch.com/accommodations.htm
we are staying in the monet log cabin. im so excited!!!
it will be so nice to do nothing.
there are horses and a family of pugs that run around the ranch.
also old barnyard gentle dogs.

(Craig!!i made a coffee for a customer last week whose daughter goes to Humboldt. i think thats how its spelled...
i just thought that was interesting. he told me to move there...that i would like it.)

the weather has been really nice lately. its been a good week.
i made $75 in tips today, which is completely outragious. i put all of it in our moving jar.

a great person has offered us a place to stay in june. that would be really nice. we could still save money that way. im not sure if i want to sell my car or not. it would be great to have that extra money but i think it would be a pain in the ass once steve starts school and i start working to only have one car.

i chopped my hair short (i couldnt wait for the summer)
its ok. its me. i guess ill just have short hair all my life. i feel weird with long hair.

time to do some laundry...hopefully

11th April 2004

12:09pm: Attitudes, Emotions and the Psychology of Cats
ok, im listening to bad religion on easter sunday...is this bad?
today is beautiful here. 75 and completely sunny.
i took a drive around the mountains by my house. everytime i went to go home, another great song played on my mix tape that i made for megan.
does that happen to anyone else? you make a mix tape for someone and just end up keeping it because its all of your favorite songs?
yeah, i do it all the time.
anyhow, the weather has been perfect for my convertable. i got my car fixed just in time.
and now i have a warm healthy glow.
i wish i had pink hair still. now its brown over red. its too boring for me right now.
work is a little better. im finally learning the new computers and tonight i get to work with my friend narah.
i hope we are slow so i can close early.

last night steve and i went to an Extra Ticket show. they are a greatful dead cover band. the music is alright but all of our friends go so its nice to hang out with fun people. and especially go to a bar with good/descent music. well i got lost on the way and only stayed for like 20 minutes. oh well. now i know how to get there.

its crazy, i feel the most welcome to update when nobody else does. but when my friends page is full of new updates i feel like mine is just a distraction. im silly.

Current Mood: content

9th April 2004

6:34pm: note the trees because the dirt is temporary
today was a bad day.
it started out really good. steve and i got to work together in the java garden and that is always fun.
but then i had to work inside and we got a new computer system and i dont know how to use it.
steve had to work outside in the parking lot and a lady tried to run him over.

how lame is that. our customers are so common sense challenged that they have to hire someone to tell everyone where to park and how to park. i remember in lansing if you couldnt find a parking spot you would drive around until you did...no matter how far it was. and we never blamed it on the business.
so they hire steve in to tell people how to drive and apparently they dont want his help.
no, instead they try to run him over.
in their fucking "g-wagons"....yeah, i bet nobody even knows what that is in michigan and thats exactly why we are moving back.
if we werent moving back in 3 months, i would have quit today. it was that bad. its not worth any amount of money. and the reason we wont quit now is because it would inconveniance the rest of the staff. i wonder if anyone has ever thought about that when they call us in on our "day off"

anyhow, at least the night is nice. the sky is navy blue and periwinkle and off in the distance its orange and pink. there is a strong breeze and its right around 75 degrees. all of the birds are talking loud 'cause there is a heavy storm to the north. i wish it would blow down here to wipe away the filth and stagnation.

i apologize again for my long winded entry. sometimes i feel like i have no one to talk to here. especially when steve is at work.

i got an email from my good friend aaron who lives in ann arbor. he is happy which makes me happy. it will be nice to see him again.
well my head hurts and my lovely frank needs hugs and kisses.
i miss everyone and everything real

4th April 2004

8:47pm: weird night
i should sleep right now but i cant cause ive slept all day.
just took 2 sleeping aids. i hope it works and wears off by 4:30am.
this apartment is lonely without food. its really weird.
we have peanut butter and jelly, but no bread.
we have waffles and pot pies, but no butter.
im hungry. or maybe not. i dont know.
i guess im just bored.

i have the next 5 nights off. im so excited. steve has the next
two days off which will be really good for him. he was about to
lose it. then after him i have two days off.
im not too excited about waking up at 430 for the next 2 days because as
soon as my body gets used to it, i will be closing again...this cant be good.

now my head hurts. its amazing how many things can go wrong when
one is alone with ones thoughts.

i think we will go to sedona when billy gets back. we will both get 3 days
off in a row...TOGETHER!!! sedona is an awesome area of red mountains and green
pine trees. it will be so relaxing. i think we will go camping. hopefully
narah will come with us.

i got a letter from my friend megan yesterday. she lives such a simple and
awesome life in washington. she surveys trails for a living...im jealous.
i hope i get to see her soon.

the new modest mouse is much better when listened to in a car with a good
stereo, rather than a shitty, $15 boombox. there are some pretty crazy songs
on there.


3rd April 2004

10:28am: i forgot 2 things

a vegan restaurant opened up about a mile from our house.
soft served tofu ice cream-$2.50 for a huge bowl
tofutti cream cheese crab puffs-4 for $1.50
spaghetti and meatballs-$4.80
vegetable skewer-$1.50
yup, i think we will get fat soon.

yesterday we had a monsoon. a monsoon is an extremely windy rainy storm with hail.
it happens in arizona about once a year. this was the hardest rainfall ive ever seen.
it only lasts about 5 minutes and it floods everything. 5 minutes later, the sun
is out and the ground drinks up all of the water. its really amazing, i took some
cool pictures. i wish i knew how to post them.
frank was so scared he wouldnt come out for about an hour. there was really loud
thunder and lightning. it woke steve and i from our nap.
9:44am: sorry this is so long, but im really feeling it right now
so im pretty much tired of everything.
working, trying, eating, sleeping.
i hope this goes away when we move away. i hope we move away from this unhappiness that comes out of nowhere.
it just doesnt make sense.
tonight we are going to a show. hopefully we can for get about stupid things and just have fun.
we will be with cool people we love and listening to music. not nessicarily awesome music,
but good musicians and its usually pretty relaxing.
music makes me happy again. i cant get enough of it
my two favorite albums right now that i am listening to back to back are
NOFX- the decline
TV on the Radio- desperate youth, blood thirsty babes.
the decline is so awesome. its about 18 minutes long/short and every minute is amazing and different.
they have come such a long way since the stuff i listened to in high school.
but i remembered why i liked them so much as soon as i heard it. its fun to listen to really loud
with the windows down on the way to work. it wakes me up and its like im saying "fuck you!!!" when i
pull into the parking lot filled with mercedes and range rovers.
tv on the radio is just so different from anything ive heard. its one of those bands that
your like why isnt this bigger...its so different. im actually really surprised that its on
touch and go records. distorted bass, loud drum beats and two really awesome soul singers. you just want to
grove to their music all day.
if anyone downloads a song...which you all should, download King Eternal or Staring at the Sun or Dreams
and turn it up really loud and listen to the whole thing. it really puts you somewhere else.
they are playing in tuscon in may. i think we will have to go to that.
they are playing in detroit at the magic stick on april 15th and if youre bored, you should all go.
ok, now im in a better mood.
see?? music is so awesome!!
i hope steve gets home early.i hope he is happy. i like it when hes happy.
i think that work has got the best of him. i hope he realizes that i see this and im really sad about it.
people DO care about you and how you feel.
only one more day and there will be days off for both of us.
18 in a row!!! steve probably had to work 10 double shifts in two weeks.
they abuse us there.
its really hard to say that the paychecks will be nice. its like we are disregarding the fact that
we are being worked harder than any employee there. they better give us a bonus before we leave.
we are doing them such a favor by staying until june.
now we have another burden of finding someone to crash with for the last month we are here because
our lease is up in may.
frank needs to go to the vet. he has anal issues. bloody ones. hes been spraying a lot too.
poor little black pants. he is so skinny, i wonder if its just worms. it could be. that would be
really easy...just pills right??

i cant wait until we move back to michigan. green grass, no work for a couple months, camping, friends, family.
i remember when steve and i used to go to the scrap piles of the new houses being built and get out nice peices of
scrap wood to paint on. we wwould hang out in the back yard of my parents house and spray paint all day.
that was a nice simple fun. something i havent had in too long.
its nice to have my car back again. i love to drive with the top down i the windy sun. hopefully she
will make it back to michigan over the tall mountains. i think i would like to take her around michigan this summer.

ive decided to try to work at the detroit zoo. my dad knows a zoologist there and said he will help with that.
i really want to do something with animals. i think i will feel much better doing that then serving humans.

sorry this was so long, i just had a cup of coffee and i needed someone to talk to.
i feel better
Current Mood: indescribable

19th March 2004

6:00pm: poopla
the weather is not so good. it is supposed to be 97 on sunday.
what happened to spring?
ohhhh welllllll
it will make moving back to michigan so much better.
i got a new pair of shorts. flat-front khakis for 14.99!! they fit really well
and they are not too short.
i also got a really "cute" pair of vans.
they have a rubber toe and are baby blue and have ballerina style ties.
they were only 9.99.
ive been drawing a lot more lately.
i actually drew a picture of myself and filled it in with chalk.
i like it a lot. im putting a frame on it tonight and hopefully i can
sell it for some mad loot cakes.
i got my print that the artist painted of me.
i cant believe how much it looks like the original(which he sold for $2,200).
i guess another print is hanging in a new york art museum and is being judged.
im famous.
not really.
but it makes me feel special. he wants to take more pictures before i move back.

lots of work and overtime the next couple of weeks.
i guess thats good. i wont have any motivation to go out and spend money
so i can probably save a good "chunk"(sick) of it.
today i made $75 in tips in the java garden. i think everyone was glad to see me back.
i deserved it after seeing an old man puke up his granola in the trash can.
i was gagging. it was disgusting.
steve: "i think im gonna take out the trash now..."
yeah, good idea.
this weekend is going to be mad in the store. i cant believe how busy we are
right now. fucking spring break.
lots of mochachinos...amber, you know what im talking about.
ahhhhh poop

14th March 2004

6:28pm: im really happy right now.tonight i think we will go to anya and billys and sit outside. its 83 degrees right now and i love it. it feels like a warm michigan summer night.
im eating a tofurkey sandwich which i havnt had in so long.
work is getting better.
our house is a mess, but a clean one...stuff all over, but not dirty or food laying around.
i guess im ok with that.
steve got a new cd while i was gone...tv on the radio.
its so good, especially to listen to really really loud.
the best way i can describe it is strong gospel vocals and driving bass
with an occasional horn or two.
man its so good. just when i thought i had given up on music.
plus we got the moon and antarctica with the 4 bonus tracks...those are good too.
and the modest mouse single on vinyl. thats good too. i cant wait until the new album comes out.
when we saw them play i loved all of the new songs.
im scared to wash my hair. i dont want it to fade and look washed out.
yeah, i havent washed my hair in like 4 days.

so on the simpsons just now, they just panned out from springfield and steve said it looked like it was in illinois. thats crazy.

i had so much fun in michigan. macs bar couldnt have been better. it was so awesome to hang out with amber and andrew and then to see so many other friends on top of that.
it will be so great to move back.
it was pretty depressing the morning i woke up and had to go to the airport.
i just didnt want to get up.
thank god for steve or i wouldnt have come home. steve. how lucky am i?

11th March 2004

8:39pm: wow, yup, thats me

5th March 2004

6:25pm: file:///BigMac/Desktop%20Folder/DIGICAM%20PICS/chelsea%20emo%20braids

hmmmm, i wonder...

3rd March 2004

11:31am: norah jones is really bad
grey sky
dark green trees
brown earth
trickling fountain
wet pavement
and humid air

orange flowers
and oranges

people talking over coffee

relaxed and relieved
soon to be gone
soon to have forgotten
soon to have friends
not soon enough

rain in a place where it doesnt


rain in a place where it does

almost cleansing


27th February 2004

9:29am: glass-shattering
right now im reading this incredible book called the dharma bums by jack kerouac.
it relaxes me.
i havnt read in a long time and i miss the stimulation.
i wonder if craig has ever read it.
i wonder if craig still reads my journal.

last night steve and i saw the last temptation of christ...
we cant afford to see the passion of christ yet.
every time i see those types of movies i cry.
just seeing him being beaten like that is like seeing my father being beaten.
it makes me feel good that i havnt given up on my faith after so many changes in my life.
im probably the only christian i know.
besides billy...hi billy
billy is cool, he is not afraid

im feeling better. i discovered a pink and purple pill in my shoebox
it makes my stomach feel better.
i still have 4 more days on these antibiotics.
4 more days where coffee tastes so bitter i cant drink it.
its ok, ive moved on to hot tea.
and this tea im drinking is delicious. yogi anti-stress tea.
i think there is anise in it.
i would like to try to make my own tea some day.

im doing laundry today...6 loads. and thats not all of it.
i cant wait until we move and we will have to simplify.
i need to simplify.
living here has made me extremely materialistic.
especially where i work.
i remember when i lived in michigan i would wear the same pants for a whole week.
now i dont want to wear the same pair of pants twice in a week.
it makes me really sad.
i cant wait to go back.
hopefully share an apartment with a dear friend. and maybe she will get a miniature italian greyhound.
we can all be one big happy family.
it will be nice to just lounge around with friends.
we have no friends here.
at least not the kind i want to sit around a table and draw with and talk about life and our beauty.
i have no desire to make friends.
no one will compare.

i need to meet up with joe and aaron.
those guys are amazing.
that was one of the best times in my life because i had learned so much about myself.
i cant wait to meet their new friends
and ambers new friends...who make her so happy.
i want to be happy.
i want to come home

20th February 2004

6:44pm: im sick.
sore throat and lots of congestion.
reminds me of mono. trying to sleep as much a possible
my check engine light came on today...after 3 days of driving it with a terrible noise.
should i take it in?? we really dont have the money for something stupid like a car.
not sure what to do.

did you go to the show??? i hope so.

"i shake what i got, which is a jingling pocket"
too much thinking going on in my head. i dont want to think right now.
"im different, like black hockey players"

i just want to look at catalogs and circle everything i want while eating a bowl of ice cream and a bag of potato chips. i eat to numb myself. i buy to numb myself.
people need balance. let me be your down for now.
i need this to help my ups be up
it all makes sense
its ok, i know it is
as soon as i come clean, it will all be over.
Current Mood: tormented
6:24pm: dominant
You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
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